2009-12-24 @ 12:30 AM
Christmas 1
I intentionally skipped over Christmas 2. The reason? SECRET. :p
Its just a matter of hours before Christmas. Its awfully quiet in my place...but thats not surprising, since its always been quiet, even before.
This will be the last of my series of Christmas N blog posts. For those who have been following my blog (and took the patience to read my ultra-talky posts), thank you very much. You guys are one of the reasons why I continue posting in here.
I believe I havent spoken anything yet about my...
``Ultimate Christmas Wish``so lets make it the title of this blog post. n_n
I remember the times when I was still a kid...
`Ang gusto ko sa pasko, PS1`
`A new beyblade!`
`Structure deck: Machine Revolt! YEAH`
`I wanna have a Blastoise!`
It actually feels funny just thinking how I wished hard for these gifts to be given to me, and yet, these gifts dont matter much to me now (except perhaps SD: Machine Revolt, which still has a place on my card collection).
It was in Fourth Year High School when I first had a serious wish.
We were made to write an essay on what to wish for that coming christmas on our CLE class. Most of my classmates saw it as an obsolete and childish activity, but since I was emotional during those times, I used it as an outlet to express my deepest feelings...my deepest yearnings...
`I wish for myself to be a special person for someone...`
It was a vague, yet honest wish.
I felt lost during those times. I cannot seem to associate myself to people, even to the ones who are in my immediate environment. I was incapable of doing extraordinary things - I`m not capable of giving inspiration to other people, I couldnt be relied on with things that really matters, I couldnt save people in times of trouble...and most of all, I couldnt be a person whom someone would yearn for...someone to be loved...
This was my wish 3 years ago...and it remained so, even until now.
The reason why I always think that I am bound in darkness is that I cannot find a significance in my existence.
Alot of questions remain unanswered...
Have I become a good brother to my sister?
Have I become a good son to my parents?
Have I become a good friend to my friends?
Am I not enough for the person I love?
There are many more, really, but I wont bother listing them all here.
Because when I think of it now, I see it as a part of my life.
Yes.
I made it a dream. A mission.
Somewhere in my heart, I know that this is something that I really want to do.
`I want to be a special person for someone`
I will do my best to be the most reliable brother and son to my family.
I will do my best to be the most caring and supportive friend to my friends.
And I will do my best to be the man a woman would love and be proud of.
God granted my wish, already...though not in the form of the gift that I imagined it to be.
It was through a light of inspiration...
An inspiration that drives me to be the best person that I can be.
Once I reached that which I would consider as the zenith of my dream for myself, I could be anything I want myself to be.
`A special person for someone`
This is indeed one of the most memorable Christmas ever...
So many things have happened before it.
So many people entered my life and brought a difference (yes, I`m thinking of you)
And so many realizations and lessons that changed my life forever.
May better things come from here on.
Merry Christmas, everyone! n_n
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