2009-12-20 @ 4:04 AM
Christmas 5
Christmas 5 will be a little emo of an entry.
Yeah, its inevitable. The existence of Bren Lisondra is always associated with the term emo. So yes, my dear readers, bear with me because there will be more emo posts in the future.
But bear in mind...emo does not necessarily mean negative or sad stuff. Consider it as another perspective...another way of looking at things...
Christmas 5: Five Important Lessons I Learned this YearLesson 1: Weaknesses are revealed for you to learn to love yourself better.This year was indeed exceptional, for it is in this year that I learned much about myself, especially my weaknesses, more than ever. I wont list them all here...it would probably take you a whole day to read, but if there`s one or two things that I would like to share, that would be my most recently discovered weaknesses: manic melancholia and hydrophobia. I have already told you guys about these in my previous posts so I guess there`s no need to talk about these any further. Discovering these weaknesses opened my eyes to one truth: I, of all people, am the one, and the only one, who can take care of myself. There are things that need to be overcome, but at the same time, there are also things that must be accepted, no matter how frustrating they can get. Its part of loving who you are, helping yourself to be a better person, and seeing yourself as a blessed child of God despite your shortcomings.
Lesson 2: God will never leave you in absolute isolation.Destiny (or God`s notebook, as I believe it as) really works in the most fascinating ways. The flow of time and fate allows you to meet people, leave people, and stay with people...whether its your choice or not. For most of the time, I usually thought that I was alone...that no one cared to understand or even bother to attend to me. That was until I met some good people who stayed with me in times of troubles, who laughed and appreciated even the weirdest and corniest of my antics, and, better yet, who bothered to even talk to me despite me being different. God never placed me in a situation where I would be alone. My eyes were close back then...but now, I know better of it.
Lesson 3: Do not feel bad about wishes that are not granted. There`s always a time for everything.I don't intend to make this one appear like a dreaded `I love you but you never loved me back` kind of message, but just for the sake of reflecting this particular lesson, yeah, I had another heartbreak this year. Then again, I saw that coming before it even shattered my heart to pieces...that heartbreak would be an inevitable climax-conclusion to my fleeting love story. After suffering a series of consecutive failures, I came to a conclusion: Its probably not yet the time for me to be in love. No, this isn't trauma...this is realization, and somehow, I find connection between this and Lesson 1. Before loving someone, I guess I better need to understand and love myself first. From that, I would become a better person, probably more worthy for someone whom I can share sweet memories with. There`s always a time for everything...and for this time, I`m going to concentrate on myself, probably until better things start coming.
(Edit: Oh, no, don't worry. My heart is recovering soundly and gracefully. Its the least my heart can do to show how happy I am for that person I loved. n_n)
Lesson 4: God knows your story. Believe in Him, because He knows everything.Did I mention that this year was a little bit more problematic than the previous years I had. Well, probably not as `epic-problematic` compared to the financial crisis we suffered from last year, but there were a lot of problems. Among them was the discrepancy that occurred with Dad`s visa, causing him to be jobless for 6 months...that sounded kind of similar to what we had last year. Despite all these, we still find the reason and the ability to smile and be happy. Everything returned back to normal: my dad is back with his job in Angola, my mom`s emo episodes (yes, my mom can be emo sometimes too) finally stopped, and me and my sister became much more dedicated to our studies, having realized how valuable education is to my family. Problems are added to our life to spice up things: to challenge us and bring about a change in our insights towards life. God sure knows everything about our lives. All we need to do is to trust him.
Lesson 5: Its unique to be a dreamer and a fatalist, but don't loosen your grip on reality!My white side is a dreamer - a man who sets high standards with the world he lives in. My black side is a fatalist - a man who accepts all things as mandated by the whims of destiny. Both my white and my black selves tend to differentiate themselves from reality, in that they depict and interpret the truths and ideas differently than what they actually are. An important lesson that I learned this year...I must maintain the humanist...the realist in me, to maintain a grip on the things that happen around me. We need to see and accept things as they are. Too much idealism would only bring frustration. Too much fatalism would dampen one's drives and potentials. My eye for reality is now fully open. This is a new journey.
Another frickin talky post...so wordy that my blog buddies might not bother to read. But as I always say in almost each and every post, all things that I write are rooted deeply from my endless sea of emotions and ideas. A window to my self, in some way.
Have you learned some valuable lessons this year too? n_n
Merry Christmas.
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