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He is a Dreamer.
He is a Melancholic.
He is a Fatalist.

He wears glasses.
He writes long posts.
He wishes for your happiness.

Black is his color.
Moon is his symbol.
Love is his essence.

He is Lezard, a mad lover.
He is Caius, a masked philanthropist.
He is Bren, a melancholic dreamer.

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November 2009
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May 2010



Insane Nerd
Angel Tolosa, my daughter, for choosing this blog for me.

As if the title made any sense.

Of course. It didn't.

But this is about Paradigm Shift.

The end of the year is approaching, so a reflection is in order.

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"There is nothing wrong with me. I am just unique."
I am not a cool guy girls craze about.
I am not a sportsman, nor a musicman.
I do not have the best physical assets.
I do not have the best social skills.

But so what?

If all men are created equal, then the world would be a boring place to discover and rediscover humanity.

I am different. I am unique.
I may not be able to fully define who I am now.
But my eyes are set towards discovering my latent potentials...soon.
My heart is slowly learning to love myself.

I am one of a kind. I have something that no other man is capable of.
The realization of this premise lies in my own hands.
This is the first paradigm shift.
Self Pity => Self Love.

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"Melancholia is a part of my personality. But it shouldn't be a burden I have to carry."
Melancholia is one of the temperaments.
A widely accepted personality classification.
It is not meant to be a degrading attitude to oneself.

Pessimism.
Fatalism.
They are just another way to look into things.
Another perspective.
Another set of life values.

It shouldn't be a burden.
It shouldn't put one in grave depression.

I am unique. I am different.
I am melancholic.
This is the second paradigm shift.
Positive Melancholy.

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"Love will come when the time is right. Do not force yourself into it."
Three flowers have I encountered.
All of them left a scar.
All of them made me shed a tear.
All of them gave me strength.
All of them taught me show wonderful love is.

I should not feel down on those memories.
Not one of them is a mistake.
Loving each of them were the greatest decision I have done in my life.

All of them are on their own way to find their happiness.
Much the same as I am.
I just happened to be not the person they needed to bring the happiness they wanted.

Love will come when the time is right. I just know it.
Shutting my heart won't do me any good than bring be despair.
Leaving my heart open with hopes should do me wonders.
This is the third paradigm shift.
I will sit down, and wait patiently for it...with open heart.

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